a friend once asked me whether i see familiar faces on the streets anymore now a days...suddenly it seems they have all disappeared-during sch days we meet friends everwhere we go-where have everybody gone to? what are they busy with? or are they?
at times when i'm waiting for friends at mrt stations or when i'm on public transports...i like to observe the people around me...
where are they rushing to? who are they meeting? are they happy? excited?
i feel that there's always a story, a chapter in the making in everybody's life-if not where do we get so many dramas and be able to relate to them so well?-and i like to read people as if they are open books...i'm an open book myself...i find it very hard to contain my emotions...its usually written all over my face... (^_^) but i think i have fairly ok EQ la...at least i don't take it out on others when i'm feeling down...hee
what are my friends doing now?
hope that they are not quarreling w thier siblings like me...
jobless like me...
slacking like me....
man my bros can really get on my nerves... (>_<)
yea! dad's most likely going 2 be coming home tmr =)
today went 2 see him n he had e gauze removed having his wound exposed...*wince* really painful....but i'm glad he's recovering fast n well...
my dad's a strong and patient man...a man of few words n few emotions...but e past few days in e hospital i've seen e frustrated,childish,stubborn side of him...all at once....
in shakespear's words “old fools are babes again". not tt i'm saying dad's a fool but i believe tt as a person grows older they return 2 being kids again...they do throw tantrums and require care and concern on every level jus like a 9 yr old child...
its a full cycle.
wanted 2 go sentosa tmr but last min cancelled...well its also gd 2 wait 4 everyone next wk.
bro needs 2 use com. got 2 go
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
went 2 watch tt movie w meng,sufian, JY and shao chong...
Shao chong was nothing like we expected him 2 be in terms of looks and mentality...but we all agreed tt he is perfect for JY。。。。
hello!!! he is literally e male version of JY!!!!!!!! hahaha....not tt we cant get enough of JY...but seeing e both of them together and having so much fun is really sweet...JY is unique...
me n meng agreed tt theirs will definitely be a very diferent relationship... (^_^)
anyway about e movie...it was a great show! very different...and though it gets a little confusing in e middle...things jus sort out themselves...
e movie's about how a couple tries 2 erase their memories of each other,but even after tt...they still managed 2 get back together, although it wasnt on a clean note...they had a better understanding of each other....
i guess e movie tells us tt no matter how much and how hard u try, its jus not possible 2 erase memories...no matter how big how small...its like mending a hole on e wall and e cracks can still be seen....
but its these memories,impressions tt makes e person...we grow as we experience every joy and pain...
go watch e movie...its really refreshing...
chatted w meng while waiting for jy n beau...
it was always refreshing to talk 2 meng cos he's such a gd listener and gives really sound advice...
after e really short conversation...i come 2 realise tt maybe i've been sending out wrong signals bout myself 2 other pple...
and really its all my own wrongdoings...
i believe i give e impression tt i'm some big time flirt...or in meng's words 感情泛滥。。。hahaha...sounds really horrible...but good wake up call la...
things is...i can have all my silly, stupid crushes...but at e end of e day...i still cant forget e person i love most...who will never belong 2 me...
i've only truly loved 2 pple...and till today i still cannot find someone who can match up 2 one of them....sad to say...
i nearly killed myself trying 2 forget him...but i still cant...its been more then 5 years now...so i decided tt since i cant stop loving him...jus love him and be happy doing so...and i am happy...i'm happy when he's happy...sad when he's sad...
he dont have 2 know...i jus wan him 2 be happy...
yest went 2 visit dad, he wasnt fully awake yet...still very tired cos e anaesthesia has not worn off...but when my mum called him he's eyes jus "sprang" wide open (literally)...i couldnt really talk 2 him cos i was trying 2 hold back my tears which no matterhow hard i try...jus wouldnt stop flowing...e nurse tot i had a flu n wanted me 2 wear a mask!
tt was very sharp...n i felt really silly...hahah...
in e afternoon...i went down 4 coffee w mum n we chatted...cos we cant stay in e ICU for long...
meanwhile dad's respitory tube has been removed...and he can mumble a few words already...
everytime he sees someone he'll keep asking for water...poor dad...hungry n thirsty and in pain!!!! sigh...
but seeing those horrible tubes off him...i feel better...i know my dad will recover very soon... =)
dad's in hospital
after all that worrying,praying,discussing,consulting several specialists...my dad has finally done his op...
i wasnt very worried...cos i know tt dad will get better after the op...i know mum n everyone worrys..but seldom anyone in the family talks much about it...we'll ask bout details...e procedures...but it'll end there...we dun go further to discuss e 'wat ifs'
maybe i'm 2 complacent...i've only always seen my family members well and healthy (other then ur usual fevers n flus) theres really no big cause to worry...
but today when i saw i dad unconscious on the bed n w all that ubes n needles on him...i cant help crying...i was warned to be mentally prepared...i tried to imagine wat it'll be like...but it all didnt help...it's jus not e same...reality smacked me in e face...hard...n harsh
it really hurts to see my dad like tat...how can anyone be prepared for that? honestly i've seen such things before but seeing dad like that...
well i'm glad its all over...hope he'll recover fast n soon...i cant share the pain for him...i really want to...how can anyone endure a 12 inch cut on their chest! and its on my dad's body...
i told myself not to cry...but i cant help it...mum was crying too...we cant help it...
well theres always comic relieves...after dinner at e canteen in the NUH (e food sucks) we went up to see dad before leaving...and as i walked past e nursery...i came across this little window where parents get 2 see their newborns...i tried 2 see if there r any babies but there were only empty cots...so both my aunt n my mum went up w curiosity 2...n mum ended up bumping her head on e window panel...hahahaha....we laughed sooooo hard our sides hurt...but it was nice 2 see mum laughing...i wan her 2 be happy, to know that everything is going 2 be alright...
tmr i'm going 4 another job interview...cross my fingers n hope for e best...then go see my dad...
i hope he'll be fine...
good night for now
the ineveitable
i must say i'm very afriad of death...and i didnt realise this only now...i rem during my sec sch days...jus thinking of how one day when my parents will eventually leave me...my bros...and then i will also go...jus makes me shudder n cry...it was terrifying...
never did tell my parents...cos jus talking bout it sets me crying...
pple who commit suicide are really brave...watever e reasons...i personally feel tt it takes alot 2 throw urself off e building,drown urself...on e same note i think tt its a waste...
maybe thats why i really cherish life and what i have now...i think everybody should...and not take what we hhhhhhave for granted...
dun you think its a scary tot tt 1 day u have all u have now...n when u r dead...u r jus not here anymore...wats going 2 happen?
where will u go? how can u jus leave ur loved ones like tt?
i guess...n i hope...i'll get some ans when i'm old...n not fear it so much...
maybe by tt time...someone has come up w some immortality pill...
my 1st post!
lets see...in my bro's room cos my com broke down...sucky
elder bro (floyd) lying on bed bossing me n refuse 2 sleep though he's supposed 2 be dead tired...
neal (2nd bro) busy on his lab top as usual
parents in living room
oh its 1145pm
last day of VSA camp today...missing it already
loads of scandals...ranging from kid n volunteer,to volunteer n volunteer...to jie-di-lian...sheesh...
but i guess thats why its so fun!! =)
i will not 4get lioneas..e cute dude w small eyes n an attitude 2 boot! hhahah
he cried in my arms today lor!!!! my heart ache so bad!!
all cos he mischievious la (dunno whether right spelling or not)
keep running away w pple's camera n hp...but u jus adore him....*gush*
oh n there's johnathan!!! 5 yr old w beautiful lashes n a killer smile!!! hahah...female killer at a tender age... =)
